Sometimes It's the Little Things

For instance, for years I've been trying to fold and arrange my husband's collection of tee shirts to fit in the top drawer of our dresser.  Yesterday, I had the revelation that the drawer I use just below it was taller, hence roomier.  And further revelation that I don't keep very much in that drawer.  So I swapped them out.  Now to see when Tom realizes the switch (he's away on yet another summer business trip.)

I've been letting my summer vacation get the best of me, and since I felt a boost was in order I resubscribed to FlyLady.  For any who are familiar with our quest, it all began with both of us having our homes transformed through the directions FlyLady sent us.. oh! so long ago.

She reminded me why it was important to get up early.  Why it was important to get to bed at a reasonable hour.  Why to put my lace-up shoes on each morning.  Why I need my routines!  By "taking a vacation" from those little routines our house was being neglected.  Not only that, but many of the things I enjoy doing (even those I don't enjoy but need to do) were being neglected as well.

So, once again, I'm following FlyLady's advice, taking little steps, and rediscovering the freedom that really does come from being diligent in the little things each and every day.

BTW, FlyLady had come a long way after all this time.  I'm glad to see that she is still around to help people like us who are more creative at making excuses than just doing the work.

Check her out if you need a boost.

One more little thing ... our book.  It needs to get back on track, and hopefully you all will help us get it marketed once it goes to "print."  Any suggestions about the best venue (self-publishing, Kindle, print/mail out) would be well received.

My your own "little ways" keep you and your family moving toward sanctity!

Your Sister in the Trinity,
Yvonne

Spam ... and not the canned kind

Hi all!

Happy Lent!  We just returned from celebrating Confession (awesome priest for me) and a holy hour for vocations at our parish.

The headline is to share with any of you who might still be reading this list a way to get rid of spam from your email.  One of my adult daughters recommended it to me, and it has worked.

Simple enough.  Just change your password.  Apparently accounts can get hacked by spammers.  I switched mine for my gmail account and there are no more embarrassing ads in my spam box.

Hope you find this helpful.

Oh, and this Lent has been my own rediscovering TLW ... and the delight that comes from a home that hums along because of persisting to do the next little step along the way.

May the anticipation of Easter help you persist in your Lenten practices!

Your Sister in the Trinity,
Yvonne


Further notes (a week later) is that almost everything has halted.  I used that particular email address when we lived in Peru, and I still receive Spanish language spam.  They are definitely less jarring than what I was receiving!

Changing habits

I was reflecting a little today on habits; specifically, bad habits; particularly, my bad habits, and it occurred to me that habits are precisely what Yvonne and I set out to help people build when we began The Little Way. We looked at it as developing routines or offerings that would help us accomplish the tasks of a wife and mother on a journey to sanctity. I think we had a good concept, but looking back, I have to wonder if we didn’t miss a foundational piece. In order to build good habits, the chances are very good that we need to change bad habits. It’s all well and good to say I’m going to do these five tasks every morning, but if I get sidetracked with five other things that I usually do every morning then I have made no progress.

I struggled with this very issue in my over 10 year quest to get healthy and lose weight. I knew how to eat right and I could do that sometimes, but other times, I would just get distracted with unhealthy choices that were in front of me or the convenience of fast food. I knew I needed to develop good habits, but I kept trying to do so as if the bad habits were the foundation and the good habits were something to be added on top of the foundation. It wasn’t until late last spring that I realized, the first thing I needed to do was get rid of the bad habits. My foundation was shaky at best and I really needed to go back and lay a solid foundation so I could begin building upward with good habits.

For me, with my diet, it took some pretty extreme measures to get a better foundation and to make some progress and I won’t get into those here because I’ve written about them ad nausea on my other blog; however, there are some principles that are worth mentioning. First, it took identifying a problem. Second, it took taking responsibility for my problem. Third, it meant I needed to stop making excuses. Fourth, I needed to confess it as the sin that it was. Fifth, I needed to accept God’s love and forgiveness. Some place in all of those steps, I needed to formulate a plan to break the old habits and replace them with new habits. Finally, I need to realize that because this was a sin that I struggled with most of my life, I need to be vigilant against it for the rest of my life. Perhaps it’s like a Twelve Step program, but I basically saw six or seven steps.

Coming back to my reflection today, my bad habits… what are the other bad habits in my life? I’m not going to do this as a personal assessment of all the things I do wrong. I’m sure I have family and friends that would be happy to tell me all of those things. But, as lent draws near, perhaps it is a good time to look at the bad habits in our lives that keep us from making good habits.

A friend of mine challenged me to read a particular reflection book during lent and I’m going to take that challenge, but in order for me to make a serious commitment to do so, I need to give up doing some other things that suck up my time and keep me from doing those things that I know will draw me closer to God.

What are your bad habits? What do you need to do to change them? Pick one or two for lent and really focus on replacing them with good habits. Remember, nothing will change until you do.

Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion

When It Rains!

Yesterday we had warm, very warm weather.  Occasional bands of clouds skirted across the sky, but no rain on our little space here in London.  Today we are being soaked.  When summer rolls around, most of my usual routines gets skewed.  I still manage to pull the covers up, and smooth our parent bed back into place.  Clothes get sorted into hampers, and the dishwasher gets unloaded in the morning.

Now that we are a family with only 2 children at home, I feel a bit out of touch for those with many small tykes.  But, the basics still get done the same way.  I still pay attention to completing a job to the end.  This applies to getting laundry from the hamper to the washer, dryer, folded and put away.  Life if simply easier when I take the time to put the already read newspaper right into the recycle bin, or wherever it needs to go, even if it is destined for the compost pile or for mulching.

Our electric company now uses what they term "Smart Meters" and unfortunately it isn't compatible with the way I prefer to keep house.  I've discovered the delay wash cycle on the dishwasher, to begin after 10 pm.  I now do all laundry except dish cloths and towels on Saturday.  We try to stay cool enough at 79F on the thermostat (69F in the winter time).  Vacuuming, along with other cleaning chores that require electricity I push to the cheapest rates.  Here they don't kick in until after 10 pm, and end at 7 am during the week.  Since they are all weekend long, Saturday is now our big cleaning day.

In short, my little ways have altered, not only because of moves into various sized houses, in three different countries, a diminishing family size and varying weather, but also to save money on energy expenditures.  Tweaking has always been part of what Marion and I have proposed with our ideas, so if your routines begin to not feel so routine, and your house is beginning to not look as homey (do not think cluttered looks homey) as you'd like, tweak until you get back to where you want it to be.  I suggest doing it a little way at a time.

Have a joyful July!

Your Sister in the Trinity,
Yvonne

Good Enough

Dear Sisters,

Happy Feast of the Assumption! (and Happy Birthday to one of our favorite priests, Fr. McC)

At the beginning of Lent our family attended a wonderful talk by Archbishop Prendergast of the Archdiocese of Ottawa. He recently instructed the parishes within his see to kneel during the Eucharistic Prayer. From our brief time here in southwestern Ontario we are seeing how difficult it is to find what I would term authentic Catholicism. Archbishop Sheridan is one of those bright lights.

One of the comments he relayed during his talk on faithfulness, referring to the tricks of the devil, cited C.S.Lewis' "Screwtape Letters." This was in reference to the sin of perfection. Odd, huh!

But this sin of perfection was summed up in the woman who could only tolerate her tea being made just "so." The temperature had to be perfect, tea leaves steeped the correct amount of time, tea cup made ready, etc.

The reason I'm recalling this is to remind myself, and perhaps you, that perfection is important, but only for the right reason. Spiritual. Perfection on the temporal plane, imho, is not what Jesus was asking us to strive for.

I do not have a problem with an athlete striving for his/her best. Nor a musician, or any other professional. Even moms while we assume our humble tasks in our homes. What I do have a problem with is when we place achieving perfection above those who have been given to us to nurture.

Most of our children are young adults now. With two still with us, and still in training, so to speak, I have learned and relearned how important it is that they learn the best way to do things, followed by remembering that perfection is not the goal.

There are times when good enough is the best we can achieve. If I choose to spend time trying to accomplish perfection, but neglect the really important living that is surrounding me, I am giving away time that is not mine to lose.

I hope this makes sense. Dusting is important, but getting every last little bit of dust removed isn't. Vacuuming is important, but moving all the furniture, all the time to get at every bit of debris isn't. Spring and fall cleaning make sense, when they need to be done, but expecting to keep our homes deeply cleaned all the time does not make sense, any more than it does to neglect to clean at all.

Find your balance, and know that this point of balance will shift as your family matures, moves on, moves back in, and lives! Insisting that it can only be done "your" way implies that "your" way is the only way. Teach, certainly, but remember that you aren't the ideal, only God is!

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne

Has it really been that long?

Given the lack of attention I've given this blog, I hold little hope that anyone is even reading this. However, with a smidgen of hope, I'll go ahead and post some thoughts.

Since posting last May our family has been blessed with a daughter graduating from university, and then marrying. We purchased a home, and moved from a small rental into a nice, private home. This new year has another daughter engaged to be married next year, another one with only one remaining semester toward her degree, a son anxious to take his G-2 test for driving on March 12, and our youngest daughter learning her new ballet routine for the May recital.

My husband has been traveling quite a bit for work, and in fact, is away today. I've completed "Women of Grace" study last spring, helped plan a wedding with our oldest daughter, decided to permanently retire from any role with La Leche League, introduced and received permission from our Bishop to bring the ENDOW program to this diocese, joined with other Catholic homeschool mums here to form a new group for First Fridays, designed and helped to create a large quited banner for Advent (currently working on a Pentecost one), and have kept pushing the idea of finishing the "book" into the background. None of these were planned or even thought of when I looked out on the brink of 2009!

This next year promises much, including an obvious spring thaw that started right on time yesterday, March 1. While reading "The Yearling" we were treated to a bright red cardinal perched on the rain gutter, as if to remind us that the seasons continue on, without any of our help. I suspect 2010 will be at least as full of surprises with only a few planned.

So, what does this have to do with living "The Little Way"? Everything. Take each moment as it comes, plan what you can, but don't overlook the adventures as they unfold.

Take care, and enjoy your Lenten preparation for Easter.

Finding Sanctity - and Stop Making Excuses

Dear, Dear Sisters in the Trinity,

Good, glorious Monday morning!  I've been up earlier than usual for us.  Actually, this used to be the normal rising time, but since moving to Canada our mornings have been far less hectic.  

We have beautiful spring weather, and hopefully, our April showers have abated enough for May flowers!  Yesterday each of my three older daughters called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  Sure was nice to chat with them.  I spent yesterday just relaxing with a good book and being pampered by Tom and our youngest two.  They surprised me with a new set of golf clubs so we also enjoyed hitting a bucket of balls at a local driving range.

Today everything goes back to normal, and actually into hyperdrive as we begin preparing for an early Wednesday take off back to Houston.  Our oldest daughter will receive her BA from the University of St. Thomas on Saturday.  We are about to cross the threshold of a new era ... watching our successfully homeschooled children blossom into University graduates.  

Now to the reason for my post.  Last Thursday I attended a meeting of mothers with young children.  So far I've been to two different homes with this group, and quite frankly, I am appalled by what I have seen.  I look back on my helter skelter years with little ones, and I can quite honestly say that our home, while in chaos, did not approach the sloth that these two homes had.  Don't get me wrong, the women are wonderful mothers.  But they are definitely suffering from a failure to look and act in their homes.

I can completely connect with the turmoil that really can happen when you have a little baby born, especially in the early months.  But, both these moms have older children who can, and really should be helping out.

The reason for this post was an excuse one of the moms gave.  She said this in such a serious voice, that I came to realize this was her pat excuse for not just attending to what needed to be attended to.  "I'm not a neat freak because my mom was one."  That is it.  What a lame excuse.

So, you would rather your family live in utter chaos by living out a rebellion against a woman who doesn't even visit your home? 

Come on.  Girls, if you are falling for this just stop it right now.   You are laying the groundwork for a lifetime of chaos and loss for your own children while trying to explain away why you don't desire a better life.

The first thing I did see when coming into these homes was a definite overabundance.  Too many toys, too many stacks, too many ... you fill in the blank.  Living a simpler life does entail stopping the access to your home of more stuff.  Mostly stuff you don't need.  These beautiful moms want to share in their overabundance, so often pass bags of clothing back and forth.   That is, when they can get a bag of stuff together.  Or if they actually unpack the last bag dropped off by well meaning friends.

So, what to do?  Well, first of all, stop making excuses for yourself and your home.  If you have: 1) paid one too many bills late because you lost the statement

2) have no clean clothes for your kids to wear and have resorted to doing a sniff test to find something to get them out the door

3) throw away more good food than you eat

4) feel ashamed because company can't come over (or worse, feel no discomfort in your mess)

5) have not a clean space in any square foot of your home

....  please realize that you need help.  

But, also, stop making excuses.  Families really do function better when they have less stuff, when they know where to locate items.  

More on this later.  Right now we have our enrichment co-op to get ready to attend.

Until then I remain,

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne