Finding Sanctity - and Stop Making Excuses

Dear, Dear Sisters in the Trinity,

Good, glorious Monday morning!  I've been up earlier than usual for us.  Actually, this used to be the normal rising time, but since moving to Canada our mornings have been far less hectic.  

We have beautiful spring weather, and hopefully, our April showers have abated enough for May flowers!  Yesterday each of my three older daughters called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  Sure was nice to chat with them.  I spent yesterday just relaxing with a good book and being pampered by Tom and our youngest two.  They surprised me with a new set of golf clubs so we also enjoyed hitting a bucket of balls at a local driving range.

Today everything goes back to normal, and actually into hyperdrive as we begin preparing for an early Wednesday take off back to Houston.  Our oldest daughter will receive her BA from the University of St. Thomas on Saturday.  We are about to cross the threshold of a new era ... watching our successfully homeschooled children blossom into University graduates.  

Now to the reason for my post.  Last Thursday I attended a meeting of mothers with young children.  So far I've been to two different homes with this group, and quite frankly, I am appalled by what I have seen.  I look back on my helter skelter years with little ones, and I can quite honestly say that our home, while in chaos, did not approach the sloth that these two homes had.  Don't get me wrong, the women are wonderful mothers.  But they are definitely suffering from a failure to look and act in their homes.

I can completely connect with the turmoil that really can happen when you have a little baby born, especially in the early months.  But, both these moms have older children who can, and really should be helping out.

The reason for this post was an excuse one of the moms gave.  She said this in such a serious voice, that I came to realize this was her pat excuse for not just attending to what needed to be attended to.  "I'm not a neat freak because my mom was one."  That is it.  What a lame excuse.

So, you would rather your family live in utter chaos by living out a rebellion against a woman who doesn't even visit your home? 

Come on.  Girls, if you are falling for this just stop it right now.   You are laying the groundwork for a lifetime of chaos and loss for your own children while trying to explain away why you don't desire a better life.

The first thing I did see when coming into these homes was a definite overabundance.  Too many toys, too many stacks, too many ... you fill in the blank.  Living a simpler life does entail stopping the access to your home of more stuff.  Mostly stuff you don't need.  These beautiful moms want to share in their overabundance, so often pass bags of clothing back and forth.   That is, when they can get a bag of stuff together.  Or if they actually unpack the last bag dropped off by well meaning friends.

So, what to do?  Well, first of all, stop making excuses for yourself and your home.  If you have: 1) paid one too many bills late because you lost the statement

2) have no clean clothes for your kids to wear and have resorted to doing a sniff test to find something to get them out the door

3) throw away more good food than you eat

4) feel ashamed because company can't come over (or worse, feel no discomfort in your mess)

5) have not a clean space in any square foot of your home

....  please realize that you need help.  

But, also, stop making excuses.  Families really do function better when they have less stuff, when they know where to locate items.  

More on this later.  Right now we have our enrichment co-op to get ready to attend.

Until then I remain,

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne

Reprint---The Struggle of Prayer

Oddly enough, when I wrote this, we were living in Colorado and Dana was looking for work. Today, we are living Iowa and once again, Dana is looking for work. I wonder sometimes what lesson God is trying to teach us and if we are just missing the point, but maybe it's just an exercise in wrestling with the right things.

Dear Sisters,

I pray this finds each of you doing well. I appreciate your prayers for Yvonne and I on this book endeavor. It has been too long coming. I wanted to also ask you for prayers that my husband will secure a job quickly. He has been out of work since November and life is getting difficult.

This article might seem a little different from our usual Little Way posts but I pray you will see the relevance and the importance of Scripture in each of our lives.

I think I have shared with you that I am a student in the Denver Catholic Biblical College. This summer we have had some options to do some shorter classes, without the homework (praise God!), on some relevant topics. My husband, oldest daughter and I are taking one that is called unlocking the parables. It's basically how to think like a Jew in Jesus’ time, so we can understand who Jesus was teaching and why His messages were received the way they were in that time. It has been great and we still have 3 more weeks.

The other class I did was just a one day one called Scripture and the Struggle of Prayer. I wanted to share with you a reflection on this topic that actually ties into a homily from a year ago. The one thing I want to make clear to you is that I am not a Scripture scholar. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know but I am blessed to have such a resource at my fingertips and so, I pray my thoughts will inspire your own journey in Sacred Scripture.

Last year, at Charlene’s First Holy Communion our beloved pastor gave a homily based on a book by Avery Dulles. In his homily, Fr. Ed compared Catholics to blood thirsty lions gnawing at the Flesh of Christ. If you are horrified by that image, good! Being Catholic is messy! Think for a few moments what it is saying, we do eat the Body and drink the Blood of Jesus and by ingesting these Sacred Elements, we are transformed and nourished. Put simply, you are what you eat! The image is meant to teach us what it means to be passionate about something, in this case passionate about the Body and Blood of Christ.

Why the image of the lion? Think about a lion eating it’s pray. The lion becomes so consumed in what it is doing that nothing else distracts it. It shoves its face into it and for that time, it forgets everything around it. I growls and grunts and groans with sheer delight over its feast.

I didn’t get that image last year, even though I had read Dulles’s book and have had the homily Fr. Ed gave on CD ever since. It could be where I was at spiritually or it could be that we had 3 pews of friends to celebrate with us that were Mormon, Unitarian, Baptist and no religion at all and I was really worried what the conversations were going to be like at the party afterwards.

Fast forward a little over a year to my retreat/class: Scripture and the Struggle of prayer.

What is the struggle of prayer? Sometimes it is a struggle to pray because we don’t know how. Other times we struggle to make prayer a priority in our lives. But at all times, we need to struggle with what God is saying to us through the Holy Spirit in Scripture! The Sacred Scripture is the ONLY book we have that is completely written by God. Imagine that, sitting at our fingertips, we have access to God’s Word and His plan for us! All we have to do is open the pages!

The Hebrew word “hagah” is used in several ways throughout the Old Testament. In Psalm 1 and 2, it is translated as meditate and plot. In other places, it is translated as recite, grown, sigh, growl, cry or sing. Whenever it is translated, there is always some sort of vocalization that arises from the deep emotion of “hagah”. I want to talk about another use of the word in Isaiah 31:4 where it is translated as “growl”. The image Isaiah gives us is that of a young lion growling while gnawing on his prey and savoring it with great passion.

This image is where I started to make the connection between last years homily and what we are called to do with Scripture. Father Ed was talking about “hagah-ing” the Flesh of Christ and now I see how we need to “hagah” the Word of God. The body of His only Beloved Son nourishes our physical being. The Word, written by the Holy Spirit nourishes our minds and souls. Our bodies cannot function without the mind and likewise the mind cannot function without the body.

“In the beginning was the Word and the Word was made Flesh and dwelt among us” John 1. To know the Son, we must know the Word because the Son is the Word. There is an inter-personal relationship that is unavoidable. The more we receive Holy Communion and participate in the Sacraments, the more we are aware of the Sacrifice that was made for us and the more it should compel us to understand who God is, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The best way to understand this Triune God is to meditate, chew or “hagah’ on the words written by Him.

“I have put my words in your mouth” Jeremiah 1:9. God has placed His words in my mouth and I have 2 choices: 1) Gnaw on it and let it become part of my very being or 2) Spit it out with all of the other excrement from my body.
1) We are what we eat, plain and simple. If we feast on God’s Words and Sacraments and let nothing distract us from Him, we start to be transformed by Him.
2) God’s word is spewed from our bodies whenever we speak hastily or uncharitably. We throw out the good right along with the bad and of course, the bad is all that is seen and heard.

This doesn’t mean we don’t have to share Gods’ word. On the contrary, we need to be careful that what I share IS God’s word and not rubbish when we have let evil reign. The Hebrew word for sin is “hatta.” The choice becomes very simple, “Hagah or Hatta,” Chew on Gods Words and Gods Sacraments or sin!


Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion
PS 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in the sight, O LORD, my rock and redeemer.”

Quick "Quiche"

Last Friday I was stumped for a quick, Friday-in-Lent meal.  Actually, as a practice our family abstains from meat on all Fridays except solemnities.  But, this past Friday was hard because we have found the price of fish exorbitant, and hardly fitting into the deeper penitential practice of Lent.

So, here is what I made.  It has evolved over time for our family.  Even though we had to wait, it took less time than going out for something to eat.  We had all the ingredients on hand, a good reason to keep basics in the cupboard, refrigerator and freezer.

Please adjust for your own taste preference.  This is one of those "in the head" recipes.

Butter the bottom and sides of a 13" x 9" baking dish.  Set aside.

Rice Crust:

Boil 2 cups of water, add 1 cup of white rice.  As soon as the stirred in rice returns to a boil, pop on a tight lid.  Cook on low for 12 minutes.  Turn off the burner and let sit about another 10 or so minutes.

Veggies:

(I quit using a microwave a while ago - but you can certainly use a microwave here.)

Cook 1 bag of "California" vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower and carrot) until no longer frozen.   Drain.  This is usually done by the time the rice is finished.

Egg Mixture:

6 eggs beaten with about 1 1/2 to 2 cups of half and half.  Add some herbs to taste (we like basil, oregano and thyme).

Cheese:

Grate up to 2 cups of cheese.  We prefer Mozzarella.

Preheat oven to 350 F.

To the rice, mix in about 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese.  Press this onto the bottom and sides of the prepared baking pan.  Sprinkle half the cheese over rice.  Cover with cooked veggies.  Pour the egg mixture over all of that.  Then sprinkle with the remaining cheese.

Place in oven.  As a cautionary measure, I like to put a cookie sheet on the rack immediately below to catch any bubble-overs (if any).  Cook for approximately 45 minutes.  Test with a knife.  When we've used regular or skim milk, it can take a bit longer to cook to done.  Let sit out of the oven just long enough to set the table.  This helps it firm up for serving.  Cut into serving size pieces, and enjoy.  For our current little family of 4 one casserole dish provides left-overs.  When it was all seven of us, I would double the recipe, cooking 2 dishes at the same time.  It still provided left-overs.  When the kids were little, one dish was ample.  But you know how kids and their appetites grow rapidly!

Sometimes we add fake crab, using fewer vegetables.  Try variations, using ingredients your family enjoys.  We switched from a pastry to rice because it was a lot simpler.  Plus helped avoid wheat sensitivity.  

Why "Sisters in the Trinity"?

This question has been running through my mind for a while, and finally in Mass yesterday the answer flashed into my mind.  

There are plenty of "how-to" lists and books for keeping a house.  In addition, there are also plenty of "spiritual" development books, many good, some not so.  And most of us are familiar with Holly Pierlot's "A Mother's Rule of Life."

So, why did Marion and I begin our original The Little Way list on Yahoo!Groups?  And, perhaps, more importantly why are we continuing with this blog.

The answers are both simple and complex.  And here are my thoughts.

First, of all, if you already have a deep spiritual life keep at it.  What I've discovered in my own journey is that at times I am deeply involved, and others I need a reminder of where I've been, and ultimately where I am destined to be.  Our original Little Way list was an aid for me to keep on seeking after the good, the beautiful and the holy.

Second, if you already have a good idea of how to run your household while raising a family and homeschooling, terrific!  This blog might not be for you.  But, what I've come to discover over the years of correspondence with those who have been part of this, while many have great systems, what they desire is an overarching concept that helps raise their vocation of mother and wife into a higher realm.  This is what I seek, as well.  

Third, neither Marion or I claim to have the answers.  We hope to simply provide some ideas for you to ponder, employ or discard.  We know that as our own lives have changed our way of approaching our vocations have been transformed.  

Fourth, by sharing with you, and your comments back we hope to provide a sense of community for those who don't live in a wider faith community that supports them.   One of the attractions of cloistered life for me is the physical presence of sisters who offer support on a day to day basis.

But we don't live in a cloister, we live with the family that God has bestowed and blessed us with.  We live with challenges from our extended families, our neighborhoods, parishes and towns.   For me having this added dimension of an internet based support system is vital.  You all provide an anchor when I have my sensibilities shaken.  You all provide a ready knowing that I am loved and valued.  This certainly can't substitute for the real flesh and blood persons that God places before me.  But this avenue of support also gives me the ability to seek out the wisdom of others in the time that I have available.

So if you are similar in your desires, I do hope you enjoy, and comment on the posts in this blog.  Our goal isn't to form anyone in our own image.  Our goal is to provide a supporting community that seeks to allow God to form us in His image.  Oh, and those mundane tasks like laundry, cooking, cleaning, reading favorite stories to sleep children, and listening to a college age child who needs to heard are some of those ways of formation.

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne 

Detachment/Decluttering

I am reprinting this from a previous post to the list. I think it's appropriate during lent and it's also the reality of what I am trying to do with many things in my life.

Dear Sisters,

How do we detach ourselves from things of this world? While the saints are far more qualified to write about this than, I ever will be, sometimes it is hard for us to see what their writings mean for us, as wives and mothers. I hope I will be able to give a little perspective. In this section I am going to write about attachments to clutter and things in our homes because I have already written about attachments and detachment in terms of our spirituality.

A quote from St. Teresa of Avila really sums up the issue of clutter. If we fill the palace with vulgar people and all kinds of junk, how can the Lord and His Court occupy it?” We need to get rid of the junk in our lives. It is really as simple as that. Things in your home should immediately lead you to God. If they don’t, we need to rid ourselves of them.

How many of us and said I don’t have time for prayer and yet we spend much of our time moving clutter form one location to another? If we can only let go of what does not lead us to God, then, we can be free to spend more time with Him. I am not proposing you discard everything in your home, but rather that you let go of the excess. This is a freeing exercise!

This type of virtue is not achieved in a week. We have had many years to cultivate our weakness and so it is a long struggle to win the battle. Clutters, and other distractions, creep into our lives. Often, we never notice until we are buried in them. As we begin to remove junk from our lives, we will see that it is multi-level. I have purged our home to what I felt were the necessities only to look around now, and see I need to go deeper, much deeper. I am not sure the process will ever be complete but I can say that as I let go of things there is more order to my home and I feel calmer.

Clutter in a home is almost a given. We can become desensitized to seeing clutter in our own homes, but rarely do we have a clutter-free home. Clutter drains our emotional and physical energy. We let our prayer lives suffer because we have to work to take care or our clutter. Things spiral downhill from there. If this sounds odd, read the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Clutter sneaks in gradually until it has take over our lives.

As there are many wonderful books about decluttering. I will not spend much time on that subject. I do want to give some general information and share a lesson or two I have learned.

Before decluttering, consideration needs to be given to organization. Organization can help the things we have point us to God. I can see the books on the bookshelves as tools by which God allows me to educate my children. However, if I look at the ones on the floor in from of the overcrowded shelf, it is easier to see them as junk. We need to achieve balance. We don’t want to discard material we will be using with another child, but if it isn’t something we are going to use again, then perhaps it is time to let go of it.

We need to have a clear picture of where our things belong so we can put them there. If we do not have a place for something, it is probably because it isn’t a priority in our life and we should get rid of it. There are many great organizing devices available but we cannot let them become clutter I our lives. We should use them only if they are functional and fit the needs of your family. If we cannot afford these items be creative. There are many things we can recycle into organizers. The same rule applies to recycled organizers was purchased ones though; if it isn’t functional, get rid of it.
So, here’s my technique as applied to a mom:
1) Use manageable amounts of time. I think 15-minute increments are great. It is so easy for us to get distracted and leave a mess for ourselves. If you find you have more time that 15 minutes to work, then just do an extra 15-minute block. Don’t get into more than can possibly be finished in a short time.
2) Be prepared. When decluttering, have a trashcan, a “give-away” box, and a box for stuff that goes elsewhere. Some folks might suggest a “maybe” box, but we don’t have time for that. Make the decision.
3) Do it and be done with it. When I declutter, I first remove all items from an area. Then, I clean the area. Finally, I replace what needs to be there and put the rest in the appropriate container. When I finish, the containers are put in the trash, the give way is put in the car and the other stuff is put in its place. I want to get the stuff leaving the house out as quickly as possible or it will grow legs and come back. I just know it!

The biggest challenge to decluttering is our attachment to the clutter. It makes us feel comfortable. True detachment leads to decluttering and takes prayer and action. We need to pray not only to identify the attachments, but for the strength to let go of them. Once we have uncovered them, we need to remove them so we do not have an opportunity to keep returning to them. At times it is an easy process and, sometimes, it’s a difficult process. May God give you the strength and courage!

Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion

Finding Sanctity During Lent

Finding that sanctity, discovering it when I have all those run of the mill, everyday "mom" things to do can get old.  I just read a friend's blog where she hopes to be gentler, kinder, more compassionate.  Don't we all?

My post is intended to focus on two aspects.  First, it is nice to hope, and that is the first step.  Recognizing what it is you desire.  The next step would be to plan.  That's right.  In order to succeed in a wish, planning is vital.  It isn't enough to simply hope, or resolve to change.  Giving myself a specific plan lays out how I will work toward that goal.  In this case, though, my goal is not to come to an end at Lent, but to have allowed myself to live that change beyond Easter.

I would love to just hope for a clean house.  But, unless I plan and then follow my plan, it can't happen.  As much as I would hope that after all these years my house would just figure out what I want and stay that way, it won't.  It can't.  But, I can!

My plan this year is to begin Lent with remembering the letters "CPR" ... in my case, "Continual Prayerful Respiration."  Or, in other words, "praying attention" to what I am doing.  By the conclusion of Lent, my goal is be able to alter the word continual to continuous.  The difference being that continual is an event that is repeated with regularity and frequency.  Continuous is to extend without interruption or cessation.

How am I going to do this?  A prayer that Marion posted to our Little Way list quite a while ago, (and I saw circulating on the internet without mention of her as author) will be my guide.   For me it will be each shirt I iron, I'll offer a prayer for the person it belongs to.  For each dish I wash, I'll offer a prayer of thanks to the farmers who grew our food, the grocers who provided a way for us to purchase, the energy companies for heat to cook it, the easy access to fresh water we enjoy, etc.  For each time I back out of my garage, and return home, I'll offer a prayer for our friends in Peru who don't have security, for my fellow drivers on the road, for safe driving on my part, etc.   The sacrament of the present moment will very much be what I will attentively seek. by living in the here and now, offering as I progress through my day.  And it will be offering not just when I am doing a chore.  It will involve praying for the person I'm speaking to (whether by phone, or email.)  It will include offering up my discomfort at night as I'm moving toward menopause.  It will include remembering to pray for my eldest daughter and her fiance when I touch my wedding band.  All those little, attentive ways to lift up my ordinary day and actions toward heaven,  asking Mother Mary and the saints to intercede for me, my guardian angel to protect me, and for God to guide me and bless those I pray for.   

Just as CPR can be a life saving measure, I seek out my spiritual CPR to not only respire, or breathe out my prayers to God, but to receive the Holy Spirit respiring and breathing His grace into my soul, and guiding my thoughts, words, actions, chores, free-time, conversations, worship, everything in return.  

May your first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday, be a positive step on your own journey toward sanctity.

Yvonne -- 

Menu Plans

I wanted to post a quick note letting you know that I have added links to two files that you can download. The first one is my blank menu form and the second is my menu for the week.

When I prepare my weekly menu plan, I make notes along the top about activities that might affect our eating plans for the week. I usually do my plans by hand and as I add an meal, I make a note in the margin of any ingredients I might need to purchase.

For breakfast, you will see veggie omelets and cereal/bagel with fruit. We don't eat all of that every day. I eat veggies/eggs for breakfast while the rest of the family opt for higher carb options. We have some pretty different dietary issues around here, so I try to accommodate them with notes that make sense to me.

I'll try to write more later this week.