Sometimes it feels like I’m really not following The Little Way anymore, but when I actually stop and review I realize that I am indeed not following it but rather living it! I don’t know if I can explain what I mean very well, but basically, things that need to be cleaned and projects that need to be done are done. I haven’t met every self-imposed deadline or standard but rather they are done in God’s time.
I know I’m a control freak. I’ve always been a very organized person and so, for many years it was all or nothing for me. If I didn’t have things perfect, they were chaos, at least in my mind. Little by little, I learn to let go of this control and to offer my efforts to God.
When I started writing My Sisters, I used to struggle horribly with laundry. On any given day you might find piles on the laundry room floor waiting to be washed. Over the years, with many repeated offerings, God has transformed my ways. I would not go so far as to say that I love laundry, but we have a system in place that seems to work well for getting the clothes clean. I’m still working on getting them folded and put away as quickly as I should, but all those baby steps, led to one big transformation in that area of our lives.
Day by day, I notice little difference, but in looking back over longer periods of time I can see change. I can also see many other areas I need to get busy making more offerings and that’s why I know that I’ll be living the Little Way the rest of my life.
“We can accomplish no great things, only small things with great love.” --Blessed Mother Teresa
Friday, January 23, 2009
A Little Way
Each day we are given opportunities to perform little ways ... those small tasks, that when we do them consciously and with tender love, elevate us along the road to sanctity. Left undone, they pile up and can make our way treacherous. Done, but without conscious thought and love, they become burdens that we soon try to avoid.
Done unconsciously, they become routines. Some of what I do each day has become a routine. Some of the things I do involve only little bits of time and taking the next little step. For instance when I pour my last cup of coffee, the carafe if rinsed, and grounds from the basket emptied. Before starting to cook the sink is filled with wash water so we can clean as we go. When I do laundry, once dried it is folded and put away. It would be nice to say (but I don't lie) I never get sidetracked. I do. I've sipped many cold cups of coffee as evidence. That must come with age. These help me accomplish needed tasks, and allow me time to be with our kids, teaching and mentoring. Given that I tend to be sidetracked, as well as over 50 and prone to strong evidence of forgetfulness, routines help me accomplish my bare minimum as a wife and mother.
But, isn't life supposed to offer more? You would think so, and that was one of the reasons Marion and I began writing our thoughts and experiences. It isn't that we believe we have the answer. It isn't that we believe our "way" is the only one. One glance through all the posts we've written to "The Little Way" group is evidence that as our lives have adjusted so have our thoughts. We hope that in the end it is just refinement, but that will be for others to judge, if they feel so inclined.
What we do hope is that you can discover that by doing all those mundane (and sometimes not so fun) tasks that a mother does each and every day, coupled with consciously offering them up with love, you'll find your load lightened, your days flowing smoother, and your domestic church strengthened.
All the little "ways" that I do help me stay on top of the housework. That is, most of the time. I've also humbly discovered that when I get slack, things can seem to fall apart. There are days when I simply don't want to "do" anything, or when I am ill, and simply can't. If, however, I have kept true to "doing the next little step" each day I can usually afford to take a day off now and then.
Oh! One note on doing small things with great love. This requires an act of will. After all, scrubbing down a shower floor is hardly romantic. But, if I allow myself to act out of resentment, our domestic church becomes distorted. If I also allow myself to be exposed too much to that harsh world, whether via on-line sources, newspapers, television my thinking can become distorted. It isn't out of pride, but I will say that I don't know what Oprah is thinking or pushing, and I could honestly care less about how "wise" Judge Judy is. I do care about whether I am a loving wife, good mother and I work at being more than just a "nice person."
That act of will to love can be easy sometimes. But, usually, I need to pare down my own exaggerated sense of self, and make a firm act of the will to love. By paring down my "self", though, I don't neglect to take care of my physical, emotional and spiritual needs. It can be a balancing act, balancing what I need with what my family needs. We often need to balance family activities with outside obligations. It becomes easier when you realize you can do a lot, just not all at the same time. But each moment is precious, and can never return to be used again. I don't think I can save time, but I can be frugal with what time I do have so tasks aren't relegated to the future to eat up more of those precious present moments.
Now, for accountability. I'll let you all know right now, I do not feel accountable to anyone except God (of course!), my husband and our children. If I don't post often, just know that I am being accountable to those to whom I've been entrusted. I'll share when I can, both on this blog, and my personal one. But, gosh, don't expect me to be writing every day. I never have, and I really don't intend to begin now.
What I do hope is to share bits and pieces of my own adventure on this journey, to help you realize what a wonderful vocation we all have as wives and mothers, and encourage you on your own journey.Good prayers for your day! Your Sister in the Trinity .... Yvonne
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Short, Quirky Biography for Yvonne
Background ...
I'm a Catholic woman, married over 30 years to the same man, a mom to 5 children here, and at least 6 in heaven. I love to write, work Kakuro puzzles, sew, cook, read and discuss: philosophy, apologetics, and history. I am drawn to natural medicine, home births, breastfeeding, and gentle parenting. We are lifelong home educators. We still have two of our children learning at home. I think teaching teens is great fun! I'm working on becoming fluent in Spanish, and will start French soon.
I am a native Nevadan, and have lived in California, Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Peru, and now Canada! I've visited many other places, and have experienced driving in winter white-out conditions, watched smoky skies from forest fires, gotten shook up with earthquakes, drenched in tropical storms, and thought our house was Dorothy's during Hurricane Ike. I've attended Mass in huge cathedrals down to tiny missions. They have been in Latin, English and Spanish, and variously presided over by priests, bishops, cardinals, and Pope John Paul II. I haven't always been a faithful Catholic, but since returning "home" 23 years ago, I grow daily in understanding, practicing, and enlivening my faith.
Volunteering has been a huge part of our family's ethos, and will continue to be, as we find ways to be of service to those we meet. We have had a lot of contact with La Leche League, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, 4-H, Knights of Columbus, and many, many other organizations.
I enjoy being frugal, but also know how to enjoy life! Packing and moving is also big part of our life. So far we've lived in over 20 different houses and addresses in our 30 years of marriage. We've renovated more homes than I care to recall, though we always enjoy the end products!
Journeying toward sanctity is my ever present goal. Whether I get there will only be revealed when this earthly journey is concluded. I hope you'll join me on the journey, because together is how God wants us all to seek Him!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Where I have been, am now and might be going
Dear Sisters,
I’m Marion. I’ve been married to Dana for over 24 years and a mother to Christina who is 18, Catherine who is 15 and Charlene who is 11. I have taught the girls at home since Christina was in kindergarten. I’m at a very different place in my life now than I was when I started writing for the “little” yahoogroup that Yvonne and I started in 2000 and there are many people and events that make me know I am. Below, you will find a highlight of the ones that seem significant for you to know at this moment in time, but I suspect as time goes on, you will learn much more.
I was born in Torrance, California. My mother is Catholic; my father is not. Growing up, I attended church but not as frequently as I should have. Since I was born in 1966, my catechesis was a product of uncertainty in a post-Vatican II era and therefore, severely lacking.
I didn’t really begin to scratch the surface of understanding my faith until I was 16 years old and met Dana. Dana wasn’t Catholic. His faith formation had consisted of his grandmother taking him to a Baptist church occasionally or joining his girlfriend at her church.
I had been playing guitar at Mass and singing in the choir. Dana began attending church with me. He also started asking questions that, because of my own lack of formation, I was not equipped to answer. I had read something in the bulletin about a meeting where people could come and ask their questions about the Catholic faith. We decided to go. The meeting turned out to be the precursor to RCIA. To make a long story short, Dana was baptized into the Catholic Church at Easter in 1984. The classes I attended with Dana helped me be more knowledgeable about the Catholic faith, but having it in your head isn’t the same as having it in your heart.
Dana and I got married in Las Vegas in August1984. At that time we weren’t as familiar with Church teachings as we thought we were and so we were surprised to learn that our marriage wasn’t considered valid in the eyes of the Church. In 1985 we had a church wedding to sanctify the union but other than attending Mass on holidays, we stayed away from church until Christina was born in 1990.
I don’t think we made a conscious decision to stop going to church. In hindsight, I was hurt that the marriage I was so excited about was somehow less than perfect in the churches eyes. I didn’t understand and I was young and arrogant enough to think I could pick and choose regarding matters of faith. We had our church wedding but that was as far as I was going.
When Christina was born we decided to have her baptized. The Holy Spirit was working in spite of our weakness. Before we could have her baptized, we were required to attend a baptism preparation class. At the class we met a couple who became our friends and were instrumental in our return to the Church. God was bringing healing to the wounds I didn’t even know had existed.
Over the course of the next several years we experienced many major changes. We became more and more involved at our church. Soon our parish became the center of our lives. In 1993, the same year Catherine, our second daughter, was born; we shared our home with a family including 4 children, for almost a year while the father worked to secure a steady job. In 1994 I began a 2-year program to be certified by the Archdiocese as Director of Initiation and Liturgy. In 1995, Catherine was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.
I was finally beginning to see that God really is in charge of my life. I also came to a place where I could completely accept the teachings of the Church. The desire to pick and choose what worked for me was gone. I managed to all but finish the certification program between trips to the doctors and caring for Catherine. I began to homeschool Christina. I was offered a part time staff position as Liturgy Assistant at our parish. I worked with the Liturgy and Initiation Director in whatever needed to be done.
Inspired by the examples of Blessed Anna Maria Taigi and Blessed Elizabeth Canori Mora, I became a Tertiary in the Order of the Most Holy Trinity. I continue to explore the meaning of this commitment in my life.
In early 1997 I learned I was pregnant with Charlene. Two weeks later, Dana was informed that he was to be laid off from his job of 12 years. This would turn out to be another test of our faith. I spent most of the pregnancy sick or in bed. Dana looking for a job proved fruitless for what seemed like an eternity. One week before I gave birth to Charlene, Dana began a new job.
About a year later Dana’s new company offered to move us to Colorado in order for him to work on a new project. We moved in September of 1998. We searched, and finally, found a parish we could call home. It was a small parish, just getting started, with only about 350 families. W didn’t even have a building then!
In August of 1999, Dana’s work took the entire family to Japan for nearly 8 months. Japan was another challenge. It is very strange and difficult to be a minority. Christianity is less than 1% of the population of Japan. Nonetheless, we found a Catholic church there and made many friends.
Upon our return from Japan we found that our parish at home in Colorado had doubled in size. Since then, we have built, and moved into, a new church with about 2500 families. It still feels like home, just a bigger home. I have had many different roles at Our Lady of Loreto as I try to let God lead my ministries and actions. I am so thankful for a holy pastor and pastoral staff.
While the move to Colorado provided a better environment in which to raise children, it was difficult to leave our family, friends and beloved parish. I often felt as though I was being led into a desert. Living in Japan only deepened those feelings. Looking back now, I can see that He was pruning me into what HE wanted. He wanted me to be totally dependent on Him and Him alone. I know I haven’t attained that goal but perhaps I’m a bit closer than I was 20 years ago.
Colorado was good to us. We had an awesome parish, a great group of friends from dance, my parents were close and I learned that teenagers and young adults were pretty fun to work with. It also afforded a couple of opportunities to meet up with Yvonne when they traveled there to see family or one occasion to work on the book that continues to elude us.
Yvonne and I began working on The Little Way after my return from Japan. During the four years we’ve been writing, I’ve had two miscarriages and three surgeries. With the first surgery, I was in a wheelchair for 4 months and unable to walk into my kitchen. My daughter Christina, then 10 years old, managed to take over the majority of the food preparation for our household. The miscarriage I had in August of 2003 was probably the most difficult thing I had ever gone through. When I had my first ultrasound, it was so exciting to see the two little babies I was carrying. Two short weeks later, it was equally devastating to see the ultrasound clearly show that my babies had died. It took almost another year before I could even think of holding another baby. Even to this day, I still feel sadness when I see the babies of the two friends that were due about the same time. The lesson I learned through these events is that while I am a control freak, there are some things in our lives that our out of our control. I have learned to allow others to help me and to accept that help as a gift from God.
In 2006, after almost a year of unemployment, God relocated our family to Iowa. Dana was pretty excited about the move. His family is from Indiana, he has fond childhood memories of summers there and from his perspective, and we were just taking another step toward Indiana. I wasn’t as excited about the move but realized it was where the job was that God was offering him and we weren’t in a position to be picky.
It has taken me the better part of two years and some rather direct comments in spiritual direction to help me to embrace Iowa as my home. There are still things that I would rather were different here, but there are many things I have come to love. I don’t know what our future will hold here. I know my husband loves his job and it seems as secure as anything can be these days. Our oldest daughter, Christina, has graduated high school and found her dream job here. Catherine and Charlene are also finally starting to settle in. I think all of us know that where we live really isn’t up to us anyway. God’s got a plan; we just have to figure it out.
As far as hobbies, our family loves to dance. You might have already figured that out! I met my husband through square dancing and I still enjoy it. I have been very involved with my daughter’s dance team. In July of 2004 the team traveled to Ukraine to perform and play music for two international folk dance festivals. Dana and I started taking ballroom dance lessons that eventually have lead to Christina’s job. We all continue to square dance at least a couple of times a month and Dana and I teach round dancing one night a week.
When we aren’t on the dance floor, you might find me playing Everquest 2 or at a gym. I think I’ll leave the explanation of how that fits in my spiritual journey for a post some time. For now, I will suffice to say that it can be both a distraction and a blessing, and the scale often tips.
Well, there you have it, the short story of Marion Moreland. The pages that have been compiled into this Little Way, will probably tell you more about me than any introduction I could ever write. They have been written over about 8 years which means I have continued to grow and learn. They share with you my heart and my imperfections. My prayer for you is that you will learn to discover God in your vocation and through all the dignity and joy that comes from being a wife and mother He will transform your life.
Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion
I’m Marion. I’ve been married to Dana for over 24 years and a mother to Christina who is 18, Catherine who is 15 and Charlene who is 11. I have taught the girls at home since Christina was in kindergarten. I’m at a very different place in my life now than I was when I started writing for the “little” yahoogroup that Yvonne and I started in 2000 and there are many people and events that make me know I am. Below, you will find a highlight of the ones that seem significant for you to know at this moment in time, but I suspect as time goes on, you will learn much more.
I was born in Torrance, California. My mother is Catholic; my father is not. Growing up, I attended church but not as frequently as I should have. Since I was born in 1966, my catechesis was a product of uncertainty in a post-Vatican II era and therefore, severely lacking.
I didn’t really begin to scratch the surface of understanding my faith until I was 16 years old and met Dana. Dana wasn’t Catholic. His faith formation had consisted of his grandmother taking him to a Baptist church occasionally or joining his girlfriend at her church.
I had been playing guitar at Mass and singing in the choir. Dana began attending church with me. He also started asking questions that, because of my own lack of formation, I was not equipped to answer. I had read something in the bulletin about a meeting where people could come and ask their questions about the Catholic faith. We decided to go. The meeting turned out to be the precursor to RCIA. To make a long story short, Dana was baptized into the Catholic Church at Easter in 1984. The classes I attended with Dana helped me be more knowledgeable about the Catholic faith, but having it in your head isn’t the same as having it in your heart.
Dana and I got married in Las Vegas in August1984. At that time we weren’t as familiar with Church teachings as we thought we were and so we were surprised to learn that our marriage wasn’t considered valid in the eyes of the Church. In 1985 we had a church wedding to sanctify the union but other than attending Mass on holidays, we stayed away from church until Christina was born in 1990.
I don’t think we made a conscious decision to stop going to church. In hindsight, I was hurt that the marriage I was so excited about was somehow less than perfect in the churches eyes. I didn’t understand and I was young and arrogant enough to think I could pick and choose regarding matters of faith. We had our church wedding but that was as far as I was going.
When Christina was born we decided to have her baptized. The Holy Spirit was working in spite of our weakness. Before we could have her baptized, we were required to attend a baptism preparation class. At the class we met a couple who became our friends and were instrumental in our return to the Church. God was bringing healing to the wounds I didn’t even know had existed.
Over the course of the next several years we experienced many major changes. We became more and more involved at our church. Soon our parish became the center of our lives. In 1993, the same year Catherine, our second daughter, was born; we shared our home with a family including 4 children, for almost a year while the father worked to secure a steady job. In 1994 I began a 2-year program to be certified by the Archdiocese as Director of Initiation and Liturgy. In 1995, Catherine was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.
I was finally beginning to see that God really is in charge of my life. I also came to a place where I could completely accept the teachings of the Church. The desire to pick and choose what worked for me was gone. I managed to all but finish the certification program between trips to the doctors and caring for Catherine. I began to homeschool Christina. I was offered a part time staff position as Liturgy Assistant at our parish. I worked with the Liturgy and Initiation Director in whatever needed to be done.
Inspired by the examples of Blessed Anna Maria Taigi and Blessed Elizabeth Canori Mora, I became a Tertiary in the Order of the Most Holy Trinity. I continue to explore the meaning of this commitment in my life.
In early 1997 I learned I was pregnant with Charlene. Two weeks later, Dana was informed that he was to be laid off from his job of 12 years. This would turn out to be another test of our faith. I spent most of the pregnancy sick or in bed. Dana looking for a job proved fruitless for what seemed like an eternity. One week before I gave birth to Charlene, Dana began a new job.
About a year later Dana’s new company offered to move us to Colorado in order for him to work on a new project. We moved in September of 1998. We searched, and finally, found a parish we could call home. It was a small parish, just getting started, with only about 350 families. W didn’t even have a building then!
In August of 1999, Dana’s work took the entire family to Japan for nearly 8 months. Japan was another challenge. It is very strange and difficult to be a minority. Christianity is less than 1% of the population of Japan. Nonetheless, we found a Catholic church there and made many friends.
Upon our return from Japan we found that our parish at home in Colorado had doubled in size. Since then, we have built, and moved into, a new church with about 2500 families. It still feels like home, just a bigger home. I have had many different roles at Our Lady of Loreto as I try to let God lead my ministries and actions. I am so thankful for a holy pastor and pastoral staff.
While the move to Colorado provided a better environment in which to raise children, it was difficult to leave our family, friends and beloved parish. I often felt as though I was being led into a desert. Living in Japan only deepened those feelings. Looking back now, I can see that He was pruning me into what HE wanted. He wanted me to be totally dependent on Him and Him alone. I know I haven’t attained that goal but perhaps I’m a bit closer than I was 20 years ago.
Colorado was good to us. We had an awesome parish, a great group of friends from dance, my parents were close and I learned that teenagers and young adults were pretty fun to work with. It also afforded a couple of opportunities to meet up with Yvonne when they traveled there to see family or one occasion to work on the book that continues to elude us.
Yvonne and I began working on The Little Way after my return from Japan. During the four years we’ve been writing, I’ve had two miscarriages and three surgeries. With the first surgery, I was in a wheelchair for 4 months and unable to walk into my kitchen. My daughter Christina, then 10 years old, managed to take over the majority of the food preparation for our household. The miscarriage I had in August of 2003 was probably the most difficult thing I had ever gone through. When I had my first ultrasound, it was so exciting to see the two little babies I was carrying. Two short weeks later, it was equally devastating to see the ultrasound clearly show that my babies had died. It took almost another year before I could even think of holding another baby. Even to this day, I still feel sadness when I see the babies of the two friends that were due about the same time. The lesson I learned through these events is that while I am a control freak, there are some things in our lives that our out of our control. I have learned to allow others to help me and to accept that help as a gift from God.
In 2006, after almost a year of unemployment, God relocated our family to Iowa. Dana was pretty excited about the move. His family is from Indiana, he has fond childhood memories of summers there and from his perspective, and we were just taking another step toward Indiana. I wasn’t as excited about the move but realized it was where the job was that God was offering him and we weren’t in a position to be picky.
It has taken me the better part of two years and some rather direct comments in spiritual direction to help me to embrace Iowa as my home. There are still things that I would rather were different here, but there are many things I have come to love. I don’t know what our future will hold here. I know my husband loves his job and it seems as secure as anything can be these days. Our oldest daughter, Christina, has graduated high school and found her dream job here. Catherine and Charlene are also finally starting to settle in. I think all of us know that where we live really isn’t up to us anyway. God’s got a plan; we just have to figure it out.
As far as hobbies, our family loves to dance. You might have already figured that out! I met my husband through square dancing and I still enjoy it. I have been very involved with my daughter’s dance team. In July of 2004 the team traveled to Ukraine to perform and play music for two international folk dance festivals. Dana and I started taking ballroom dance lessons that eventually have lead to Christina’s job. We all continue to square dance at least a couple of times a month and Dana and I teach round dancing one night a week.
When we aren’t on the dance floor, you might find me playing Everquest 2 or at a gym. I think I’ll leave the explanation of how that fits in my spiritual journey for a post some time. For now, I will suffice to say that it can be both a distraction and a blessing, and the scale often tips.
Well, there you have it, the short story of Marion Moreland. The pages that have been compiled into this Little Way, will probably tell you more about me than any introduction I could ever write. They have been written over about 8 years which means I have continued to grow and learn. They share with you my heart and my imperfections. My prayer for you is that you will learn to discover God in your vocation and through all the dignity and joy that comes from being a wife and mother He will transform your life.
Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion
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