Finding Sanctity - and Stop Making Excuses

Dear, Dear Sisters in the Trinity,

Good, glorious Monday morning!  I've been up earlier than usual for us.  Actually, this used to be the normal rising time, but since moving to Canada our mornings have been far less hectic.  

We have beautiful spring weather, and hopefully, our April showers have abated enough for May flowers!  Yesterday each of my three older daughters called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  Sure was nice to chat with them.  I spent yesterday just relaxing with a good book and being pampered by Tom and our youngest two.  They surprised me with a new set of golf clubs so we also enjoyed hitting a bucket of balls at a local driving range.

Today everything goes back to normal, and actually into hyperdrive as we begin preparing for an early Wednesday take off back to Houston.  Our oldest daughter will receive her BA from the University of St. Thomas on Saturday.  We are about to cross the threshold of a new era ... watching our successfully homeschooled children blossom into University graduates.  

Now to the reason for my post.  Last Thursday I attended a meeting of mothers with young children.  So far I've been to two different homes with this group, and quite frankly, I am appalled by what I have seen.  I look back on my helter skelter years with little ones, and I can quite honestly say that our home, while in chaos, did not approach the sloth that these two homes had.  Don't get me wrong, the women are wonderful mothers.  But they are definitely suffering from a failure to look and act in their homes.

I can completely connect with the turmoil that really can happen when you have a little baby born, especially in the early months.  But, both these moms have older children who can, and really should be helping out.

The reason for this post was an excuse one of the moms gave.  She said this in such a serious voice, that I came to realize this was her pat excuse for not just attending to what needed to be attended to.  "I'm not a neat freak because my mom was one."  That is it.  What a lame excuse.

So, you would rather your family live in utter chaos by living out a rebellion against a woman who doesn't even visit your home? 

Come on.  Girls, if you are falling for this just stop it right now.   You are laying the groundwork for a lifetime of chaos and loss for your own children while trying to explain away why you don't desire a better life.

The first thing I did see when coming into these homes was a definite overabundance.  Too many toys, too many stacks, too many ... you fill in the blank.  Living a simpler life does entail stopping the access to your home of more stuff.  Mostly stuff you don't need.  These beautiful moms want to share in their overabundance, so often pass bags of clothing back and forth.   That is, when they can get a bag of stuff together.  Or if they actually unpack the last bag dropped off by well meaning friends.

So, what to do?  Well, first of all, stop making excuses for yourself and your home.  If you have: 1) paid one too many bills late because you lost the statement

2) have no clean clothes for your kids to wear and have resorted to doing a sniff test to find something to get them out the door

3) throw away more good food than you eat

4) feel ashamed because company can't come over (or worse, feel no discomfort in your mess)

5) have not a clean space in any square foot of your home

....  please realize that you need help.  

But, also, stop making excuses.  Families really do function better when they have less stuff, when they know where to locate items.  

More on this later.  Right now we have our enrichment co-op to get ready to attend.

Until then I remain,

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne

Reprint---The Struggle of Prayer

Oddly enough, when I wrote this, we were living in Colorado and Dana was looking for work. Today, we are living Iowa and once again, Dana is looking for work. I wonder sometimes what lesson God is trying to teach us and if we are just missing the point, but maybe it's just an exercise in wrestling with the right things.

Dear Sisters,

I pray this finds each of you doing well. I appreciate your prayers for Yvonne and I on this book endeavor. It has been too long coming. I wanted to also ask you for prayers that my husband will secure a job quickly. He has been out of work since November and life is getting difficult.

This article might seem a little different from our usual Little Way posts but I pray you will see the relevance and the importance of Scripture in each of our lives.

I think I have shared with you that I am a student in the Denver Catholic Biblical College. This summer we have had some options to do some shorter classes, without the homework (praise God!), on some relevant topics. My husband, oldest daughter and I are taking one that is called unlocking the parables. It's basically how to think like a Jew in Jesus’ time, so we can understand who Jesus was teaching and why His messages were received the way they were in that time. It has been great and we still have 3 more weeks.

The other class I did was just a one day one called Scripture and the Struggle of Prayer. I wanted to share with you a reflection on this topic that actually ties into a homily from a year ago. The one thing I want to make clear to you is that I am not a Scripture scholar. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know but I am blessed to have such a resource at my fingertips and so, I pray my thoughts will inspire your own journey in Sacred Scripture.

Last year, at Charlene’s First Holy Communion our beloved pastor gave a homily based on a book by Avery Dulles. In his homily, Fr. Ed compared Catholics to blood thirsty lions gnawing at the Flesh of Christ. If you are horrified by that image, good! Being Catholic is messy! Think for a few moments what it is saying, we do eat the Body and drink the Blood of Jesus and by ingesting these Sacred Elements, we are transformed and nourished. Put simply, you are what you eat! The image is meant to teach us what it means to be passionate about something, in this case passionate about the Body and Blood of Christ.

Why the image of the lion? Think about a lion eating it’s pray. The lion becomes so consumed in what it is doing that nothing else distracts it. It shoves its face into it and for that time, it forgets everything around it. I growls and grunts and groans with sheer delight over its feast.

I didn’t get that image last year, even though I had read Dulles’s book and have had the homily Fr. Ed gave on CD ever since. It could be where I was at spiritually or it could be that we had 3 pews of friends to celebrate with us that were Mormon, Unitarian, Baptist and no religion at all and I was really worried what the conversations were going to be like at the party afterwards.

Fast forward a little over a year to my retreat/class: Scripture and the Struggle of prayer.

What is the struggle of prayer? Sometimes it is a struggle to pray because we don’t know how. Other times we struggle to make prayer a priority in our lives. But at all times, we need to struggle with what God is saying to us through the Holy Spirit in Scripture! The Sacred Scripture is the ONLY book we have that is completely written by God. Imagine that, sitting at our fingertips, we have access to God’s Word and His plan for us! All we have to do is open the pages!

The Hebrew word “hagah” is used in several ways throughout the Old Testament. In Psalm 1 and 2, it is translated as meditate and plot. In other places, it is translated as recite, grown, sigh, growl, cry or sing. Whenever it is translated, there is always some sort of vocalization that arises from the deep emotion of “hagah”. I want to talk about another use of the word in Isaiah 31:4 where it is translated as “growl”. The image Isaiah gives us is that of a young lion growling while gnawing on his prey and savoring it with great passion.

This image is where I started to make the connection between last years homily and what we are called to do with Scripture. Father Ed was talking about “hagah-ing” the Flesh of Christ and now I see how we need to “hagah” the Word of God. The body of His only Beloved Son nourishes our physical being. The Word, written by the Holy Spirit nourishes our minds and souls. Our bodies cannot function without the mind and likewise the mind cannot function without the body.

“In the beginning was the Word and the Word was made Flesh and dwelt among us” John 1. To know the Son, we must know the Word because the Son is the Word. There is an inter-personal relationship that is unavoidable. The more we receive Holy Communion and participate in the Sacraments, the more we are aware of the Sacrifice that was made for us and the more it should compel us to understand who God is, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The best way to understand this Triune God is to meditate, chew or “hagah’ on the words written by Him.

“I have put my words in your mouth” Jeremiah 1:9. God has placed His words in my mouth and I have 2 choices: 1) Gnaw on it and let it become part of my very being or 2) Spit it out with all of the other excrement from my body.
1) We are what we eat, plain and simple. If we feast on God’s Words and Sacraments and let nothing distract us from Him, we start to be transformed by Him.
2) God’s word is spewed from our bodies whenever we speak hastily or uncharitably. We throw out the good right along with the bad and of course, the bad is all that is seen and heard.

This doesn’t mean we don’t have to share Gods’ word. On the contrary, we need to be careful that what I share IS God’s word and not rubbish when we have let evil reign. The Hebrew word for sin is “hatta.” The choice becomes very simple, “Hagah or Hatta,” Chew on Gods Words and Gods Sacraments or sin!


Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion
PS 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in the sight, O LORD, my rock and redeemer.”

Quick "Quiche"

Last Friday I was stumped for a quick, Friday-in-Lent meal.  Actually, as a practice our family abstains from meat on all Fridays except solemnities.  But, this past Friday was hard because we have found the price of fish exorbitant, and hardly fitting into the deeper penitential practice of Lent.

So, here is what I made.  It has evolved over time for our family.  Even though we had to wait, it took less time than going out for something to eat.  We had all the ingredients on hand, a good reason to keep basics in the cupboard, refrigerator and freezer.

Please adjust for your own taste preference.  This is one of those "in the head" recipes.

Butter the bottom and sides of a 13" x 9" baking dish.  Set aside.

Rice Crust:

Boil 2 cups of water, add 1 cup of white rice.  As soon as the stirred in rice returns to a boil, pop on a tight lid.  Cook on low for 12 minutes.  Turn off the burner and let sit about another 10 or so minutes.

Veggies:

(I quit using a microwave a while ago - but you can certainly use a microwave here.)

Cook 1 bag of "California" vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower and carrot) until no longer frozen.   Drain.  This is usually done by the time the rice is finished.

Egg Mixture:

6 eggs beaten with about 1 1/2 to 2 cups of half and half.  Add some herbs to taste (we like basil, oregano and thyme).

Cheese:

Grate up to 2 cups of cheese.  We prefer Mozzarella.

Preheat oven to 350 F.

To the rice, mix in about 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese.  Press this onto the bottom and sides of the prepared baking pan.  Sprinkle half the cheese over rice.  Cover with cooked veggies.  Pour the egg mixture over all of that.  Then sprinkle with the remaining cheese.

Place in oven.  As a cautionary measure, I like to put a cookie sheet on the rack immediately below to catch any bubble-overs (if any).  Cook for approximately 45 minutes.  Test with a knife.  When we've used regular or skim milk, it can take a bit longer to cook to done.  Let sit out of the oven just long enough to set the table.  This helps it firm up for serving.  Cut into serving size pieces, and enjoy.  For our current little family of 4 one casserole dish provides left-overs.  When it was all seven of us, I would double the recipe, cooking 2 dishes at the same time.  It still provided left-overs.  When the kids were little, one dish was ample.  But you know how kids and their appetites grow rapidly!

Sometimes we add fake crab, using fewer vegetables.  Try variations, using ingredients your family enjoys.  We switched from a pastry to rice because it was a lot simpler.  Plus helped avoid wheat sensitivity.  

Why "Sisters in the Trinity"?

This question has been running through my mind for a while, and finally in Mass yesterday the answer flashed into my mind.  

There are plenty of "how-to" lists and books for keeping a house.  In addition, there are also plenty of "spiritual" development books, many good, some not so.  And most of us are familiar with Holly Pierlot's "A Mother's Rule of Life."

So, why did Marion and I begin our original The Little Way list on Yahoo!Groups?  And, perhaps, more importantly why are we continuing with this blog.

The answers are both simple and complex.  And here are my thoughts.

First, of all, if you already have a deep spiritual life keep at it.  What I've discovered in my own journey is that at times I am deeply involved, and others I need a reminder of where I've been, and ultimately where I am destined to be.  Our original Little Way list was an aid for me to keep on seeking after the good, the beautiful and the holy.

Second, if you already have a good idea of how to run your household while raising a family and homeschooling, terrific!  This blog might not be for you.  But, what I've come to discover over the years of correspondence with those who have been part of this, while many have great systems, what they desire is an overarching concept that helps raise their vocation of mother and wife into a higher realm.  This is what I seek, as well.  

Third, neither Marion or I claim to have the answers.  We hope to simply provide some ideas for you to ponder, employ or discard.  We know that as our own lives have changed our way of approaching our vocations have been transformed.  

Fourth, by sharing with you, and your comments back we hope to provide a sense of community for those who don't live in a wider faith community that supports them.   One of the attractions of cloistered life for me is the physical presence of sisters who offer support on a day to day basis.

But we don't live in a cloister, we live with the family that God has bestowed and blessed us with.  We live with challenges from our extended families, our neighborhoods, parishes and towns.   For me having this added dimension of an internet based support system is vital.  You all provide an anchor when I have my sensibilities shaken.  You all provide a ready knowing that I am loved and valued.  This certainly can't substitute for the real flesh and blood persons that God places before me.  But this avenue of support also gives me the ability to seek out the wisdom of others in the time that I have available.

So if you are similar in your desires, I do hope you enjoy, and comment on the posts in this blog.  Our goal isn't to form anyone in our own image.  Our goal is to provide a supporting community that seeks to allow God to form us in His image.  Oh, and those mundane tasks like laundry, cooking, cleaning, reading favorite stories to sleep children, and listening to a college age child who needs to heard are some of those ways of formation.

Your Sister in the Trinity,

Yvonne 

Detachment/Decluttering

I am reprinting this from a previous post to the list. I think it's appropriate during lent and it's also the reality of what I am trying to do with many things in my life.

Dear Sisters,

How do we detach ourselves from things of this world? While the saints are far more qualified to write about this than, I ever will be, sometimes it is hard for us to see what their writings mean for us, as wives and mothers. I hope I will be able to give a little perspective. In this section I am going to write about attachments to clutter and things in our homes because I have already written about attachments and detachment in terms of our spirituality.

A quote from St. Teresa of Avila really sums up the issue of clutter. If we fill the palace with vulgar people and all kinds of junk, how can the Lord and His Court occupy it?” We need to get rid of the junk in our lives. It is really as simple as that. Things in your home should immediately lead you to God. If they don’t, we need to rid ourselves of them.

How many of us and said I don’t have time for prayer and yet we spend much of our time moving clutter form one location to another? If we can only let go of what does not lead us to God, then, we can be free to spend more time with Him. I am not proposing you discard everything in your home, but rather that you let go of the excess. This is a freeing exercise!

This type of virtue is not achieved in a week. We have had many years to cultivate our weakness and so it is a long struggle to win the battle. Clutters, and other distractions, creep into our lives. Often, we never notice until we are buried in them. As we begin to remove junk from our lives, we will see that it is multi-level. I have purged our home to what I felt were the necessities only to look around now, and see I need to go deeper, much deeper. I am not sure the process will ever be complete but I can say that as I let go of things there is more order to my home and I feel calmer.

Clutter in a home is almost a given. We can become desensitized to seeing clutter in our own homes, but rarely do we have a clutter-free home. Clutter drains our emotional and physical energy. We let our prayer lives suffer because we have to work to take care or our clutter. Things spiral downhill from there. If this sounds odd, read the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Clutter sneaks in gradually until it has take over our lives.

As there are many wonderful books about decluttering. I will not spend much time on that subject. I do want to give some general information and share a lesson or two I have learned.

Before decluttering, consideration needs to be given to organization. Organization can help the things we have point us to God. I can see the books on the bookshelves as tools by which God allows me to educate my children. However, if I look at the ones on the floor in from of the overcrowded shelf, it is easier to see them as junk. We need to achieve balance. We don’t want to discard material we will be using with another child, but if it isn’t something we are going to use again, then perhaps it is time to let go of it.

We need to have a clear picture of where our things belong so we can put them there. If we do not have a place for something, it is probably because it isn’t a priority in our life and we should get rid of it. There are many great organizing devices available but we cannot let them become clutter I our lives. We should use them only if they are functional and fit the needs of your family. If we cannot afford these items be creative. There are many things we can recycle into organizers. The same rule applies to recycled organizers was purchased ones though; if it isn’t functional, get rid of it.
So, here’s my technique as applied to a mom:
1) Use manageable amounts of time. I think 15-minute increments are great. It is so easy for us to get distracted and leave a mess for ourselves. If you find you have more time that 15 minutes to work, then just do an extra 15-minute block. Don’t get into more than can possibly be finished in a short time.
2) Be prepared. When decluttering, have a trashcan, a “give-away” box, and a box for stuff that goes elsewhere. Some folks might suggest a “maybe” box, but we don’t have time for that. Make the decision.
3) Do it and be done with it. When I declutter, I first remove all items from an area. Then, I clean the area. Finally, I replace what needs to be there and put the rest in the appropriate container. When I finish, the containers are put in the trash, the give way is put in the car and the other stuff is put in its place. I want to get the stuff leaving the house out as quickly as possible or it will grow legs and come back. I just know it!

The biggest challenge to decluttering is our attachment to the clutter. It makes us feel comfortable. True detachment leads to decluttering and takes prayer and action. We need to pray not only to identify the attachments, but for the strength to let go of them. Once we have uncovered them, we need to remove them so we do not have an opportunity to keep returning to them. At times it is an easy process and, sometimes, it’s a difficult process. May God give you the strength and courage!

Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion

Finding Sanctity During Lent

Finding that sanctity, discovering it when I have all those run of the mill, everyday "mom" things to do can get old.  I just read a friend's blog where she hopes to be gentler, kinder, more compassionate.  Don't we all?

My post is intended to focus on two aspects.  First, it is nice to hope, and that is the first step.  Recognizing what it is you desire.  The next step would be to plan.  That's right.  In order to succeed in a wish, planning is vital.  It isn't enough to simply hope, or resolve to change.  Giving myself a specific plan lays out how I will work toward that goal.  In this case, though, my goal is not to come to an end at Lent, but to have allowed myself to live that change beyond Easter.

I would love to just hope for a clean house.  But, unless I plan and then follow my plan, it can't happen.  As much as I would hope that after all these years my house would just figure out what I want and stay that way, it won't.  It can't.  But, I can!

My plan this year is to begin Lent with remembering the letters "CPR" ... in my case, "Continual Prayerful Respiration."  Or, in other words, "praying attention" to what I am doing.  By the conclusion of Lent, my goal is be able to alter the word continual to continuous.  The difference being that continual is an event that is repeated with regularity and frequency.  Continuous is to extend without interruption or cessation.

How am I going to do this?  A prayer that Marion posted to our Little Way list quite a while ago, (and I saw circulating on the internet without mention of her as author) will be my guide.   For me it will be each shirt I iron, I'll offer a prayer for the person it belongs to.  For each dish I wash, I'll offer a prayer of thanks to the farmers who grew our food, the grocers who provided a way for us to purchase, the energy companies for heat to cook it, the easy access to fresh water we enjoy, etc.  For each time I back out of my garage, and return home, I'll offer a prayer for our friends in Peru who don't have security, for my fellow drivers on the road, for safe driving on my part, etc.   The sacrament of the present moment will very much be what I will attentively seek. by living in the here and now, offering as I progress through my day.  And it will be offering not just when I am doing a chore.  It will involve praying for the person I'm speaking to (whether by phone, or email.)  It will include offering up my discomfort at night as I'm moving toward menopause.  It will include remembering to pray for my eldest daughter and her fiance when I touch my wedding band.  All those little, attentive ways to lift up my ordinary day and actions toward heaven,  asking Mother Mary and the saints to intercede for me, my guardian angel to protect me, and for God to guide me and bless those I pray for.   

Just as CPR can be a life saving measure, I seek out my spiritual CPR to not only respire, or breathe out my prayers to God, but to receive the Holy Spirit respiring and breathing His grace into my soul, and guiding my thoughts, words, actions, chores, free-time, conversations, worship, everything in return.  

May your first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday, be a positive step on your own journey toward sanctity.

Yvonne -- 

Menu Plans

I wanted to post a quick note letting you know that I have added links to two files that you can download. The first one is my blank menu form and the second is my menu for the week.

When I prepare my weekly menu plan, I make notes along the top about activities that might affect our eating plans for the week. I usually do my plans by hand and as I add an meal, I make a note in the margin of any ingredients I might need to purchase.

For breakfast, you will see veggie omelets and cereal/bagel with fruit. We don't eat all of that every day. I eat veggies/eggs for breakfast while the rest of the family opt for higher carb options. We have some pretty different dietary issues around here, so I try to accommodate them with notes that make sense to me.

I'll try to write more later this week.

Our Vocation

This is from one of my earlier posts to the email group...

Dear Sisters,
I would like to begin by sharing with you some advice that was given to me a long time ago and has had a profound effect on me in the years since.

We had recently moved to Colorado. When we moved, I had all these great ideas for how our lives would be ordered. I had all the plans made! I thought we’d have fewer distractions and we could really just get about the business of focusing our family life on God. I had this entire agenda worked out in my mind and even on paper, of how we would live. I wish I had saved that paper because it would have been a great lesson in humility.

When we arrived here, we struggled to find a parish that was going to be home. During what was supposed to be a two week visit, my parents had a roll over car accident that left my father with a broken neck. While he would fully recover, they lived with us for several years. Don’t misunderstand me, I love my parents and I know we made the right choices but needless to say, my perfect ordered life went out the window! It seemed every plan I had was thwarted in these areas and others.

And so, I decided to whine to my spiritual director. His words still bring me back to focusing on God.

Here they are as he wrote them:
“You have a nice goal about what would be good for your home and vocation. But as you know, what man proposes, God disposes. Part of your vocation is to put out fires and solve problems. My vocation is one of distractions. And so is yours. The one striving for holiness learns how to use the distractions for the greater honor and glory of God. The ones who want to be holy but do not want to work at it have a fantasy that their particular holiness will be free of hard work and sacrifice and disruption. The lives of saints are full of disruptions, obstacles and sorrows.

Soooo, it sounds like God has given you the perfect environment to become a saint; less than perfect household, below average parish and no time to pray. Saints long for situations like this, because they can see how God will change these situations through them and other people, endowed and imbued with the Holy Spirit. You have to carve out your spiritual life in your day and it may be that you have to due violence to the things and times that you like for it to get done!

But the Lord Jesus will bless you and help and visit you when you are most discouraged. Would you not like to have a visit from the Lord and be discouraged every once in a while or not to have a visit from him and never be down trodden?

Carry your cross and it will carry you to heaven along with your family and parents! This is what saints are made of. I think you already know this. And I have confidence that you can do this with the Grace of God.

God bless you in the Sacred Heart of JMJ
Fr. Mike

It’s important to make a distinction in the type of vocation we are speaking about. The dictionary has two different definitions. The first is in reference to a job. I’m not talking about that definition at all. A job is work that provides temporal goods. The second definition is “An inclination, as if in response to a summons, to undertake a certain kind of work, especially a religious career; a calling.” I really would even beg to differ with that definition because it seems to imply that only religious have vocations and that’s not true either. Our vocation is our response to God’s calling us to a particular state of life. It is what provides for our spiritual well being. My vocation is being a wife and mother as is most that will be reading this article. Sometimes I have other jobs, but they cannot change my primary responsibility to my vocation. Being the best wife and mother through a life devoted to God is my path to Heaven. It needs to be first and foremost in all that I do.

There were three important messages for me in Father Mike’s words. I’m going to use those words as a point to address some of the particulars about our vocations.

The first is that our vocation is one of distractions. This is so true! This is why I don’t believe we shouldn’t try to adhere to rigid schedules. It’s also in many regards the reason this little way came to be a reality in my life.

What we need to learn is that there are distractions that our out of our control and there are ones that are in our control. When you are sitting in your quiet place to pray and your child comes to you sick or in desperate need that is a distraction from prayer that is out of your control. When you overcommitted yourself to ministries that seem good on the surface, they are distractions within your control.

Our children sometimes have needs that will take us away from prayer but we need to return as quickly as we can. We will also talk later about how those distractions can even be turned into prayer.

As wives and mothers, any task or ministry we commit to should be considered and prayed about in view of how it affects our vocation. While I have little children at home, does it make my family holier if I spend 5 nights a week at church meetings? You need to discern this for your own family but I think the answer would almost always be no.

Since I mentioned the idea of children distracting us from prayer, I want to add one more thought on this topic. There is a difference between a child with a legitimate need for their mother and one that has not been trained to understand that Mommy needs time with God. Very few of us have children that have to be constantly attended to. Most of us just aren’t very good at saying, Mommy is going to go pray for awhile so please work on this task or leave me alone for 30 minutes unless it is an emergency. Not only does this help our children develop independent skills, it witnesses to them that Mommy needs God in her life.

The second comment from Father Mike that hit home for me was the comparison of distractions in the vocation of priesthood and motherhood. This goes back to the definition I gave you of vocation. Where would we be if the only vocations were that of priest and nun? I’ll tell you, we just wouldn’t be! Holy priests come from holy families and holy families come from holy priests. Every vocation has its distractions. It is so easy for us to feel like a second class citizen because that’s what the world tells us but we need to shut the blinders on the worlds view and realize that we are following a divine plan.

The final message for me was that I might have to give up what I want in order to carve out time in my day for a spiritual life. Sometimes we really just want to make excuses for not spending time with God when it is the very thing we need most. Other times, as I alluded to earlier, we are so over committed with seemingly good ministries that we don’t have time.

When I only had one child and she was a baby, it was easier for me to do more at church or in the community but as she grew and more have been added, I have watched many of the ministries I love be carved out of my life. It’s not to say that I might not return to them in a later season of life but, it is to say that my primary job right now is tending to the needs of my family. To start with, I began by eliminating the ones that I could not do with my family or took me away from home more than once a month. As I started to give up control of these things that I wanted to do, God was free to move more toward Him. Isn’t it ironic how we can be doing good deeds and still miss our vocation?

I want to close with a final thought about prayer and our vocation. When we don’t have time to pray, we have our priorities wrong. I don’t believe there are any exceptions to this rule. It as simple as saying God, I know you have a plan for me, but I can do this on my own and I don’t need or want to hear anything you have to say. God has not given us so much to do in our lives that we can’t pray. I don’t think that is the message any of us want to give to God.


Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion

Little Ways

Sometimes it feels like I’m really not following The Little Way anymore, but when I actually stop and review I realize that I am indeed not following it but rather living it! I don’t know if I can explain what I mean very well, but basically, things that need to be cleaned and projects that need to be done are done. I haven’t met every self-imposed deadline or standard but rather they are done in God’s time.

I know I’m a control freak. I’ve always been a very organized person and so, for many years it was all or nothing for me. If I didn’t have things perfect, they were chaos, at least in my mind. Little by little, I learn to let go of this control and to offer my efforts to God.

When I started writing My Sisters, I used to struggle horribly with laundry. On any given day you might find piles on the laundry room floor waiting to be washed. Over the years, with many repeated offerings, God has transformed my ways. I would not go so far as to say that I love laundry, but we have a system in place that seems to work well for getting the clothes clean. I’m still working on getting them folded and put away as quickly as I should, but all those baby steps, led to one big transformation in that area of our lives.

Day by day, I notice little difference, but in looking back over longer periods of time I can see change. I can also see many other areas I need to get busy making more offerings and that’s why I know that I’ll be living the Little Way the rest of my life.

“We can accomplish no great things, only small things with great love.” --Blessed Mother Teresa

A Little Way

Each day we are given opportunities to perform little ways ... those small tasks, that when we do them consciously and with tender love, elevate us along the road to sanctity.  Left undone, they pile up and can make our way treacherous.  Done, but without conscious thought and love, they become burdens that we soon try to avoid.  

Done unconsciously, they become routines.  Some of what I do each day has become a routine.  Some of the things I do involve only little bits of time and taking the next little step.  For instance when I pour my last cup of coffee, the carafe if rinsed, and grounds from the basket emptied.  Before starting to cook the sink is filled with wash water so we can clean as we go.  When I do laundry, once dried it is folded and put away.  It would be nice to say (but I don't lie) I never get sidetracked.  I do.  I've sipped many cold cups of coffee as evidence.  That must come with age.  These help me accomplish needed tasks, and allow me time to be with our kids, teaching and mentoring.  Given that I tend to be sidetracked, as well as over 50 and prone to strong evidence of forgetfulness, routines help me accomplish my bare minimum as a wife and mother.  

But, isn't life supposed to offer more?  You would think so, and that was one of the reasons Marion and I began writing our thoughts and experiences.  It isn't that we believe we have the answer.  It isn't that we believe our "way" is the only one.  One glance through all the posts we've written to "The Little Way" group is evidence that as our lives have adjusted so have our thoughts.  We hope that in the end it is just refinement, but that will be for others to judge, if they feel so inclined.

What we do hope is that you can discover that by doing all those mundane (and sometimes not so fun) tasks that a mother does each and every day, coupled with consciously offering them up with love, you'll find your load lightened, your days flowing smoother, and your domestic church strengthened.

All the little "ways" that I do help me stay on top of the housework.  That is, most of the time.  I've also humbly discovered that when I get slack, things can seem to fall apart.  There are days when I simply don't want to "do" anything, or when I am ill, and simply can't.  If, however, I have kept true to "doing the next little step" each day I can usually afford to take a day off now and then.

Oh!  One note on doing small things with great love.   This requires an act of will.  After all, scrubbing down a shower floor is hardly romantic.  But, if I allow myself to act out of resentment, our domestic church becomes distorted.  If I also allow myself to be exposed too much to that harsh world, whether via on-line sources, newspapers, television my thinking can become distorted.  It isn't out of pride, but I will say that I don't know what Oprah is thinking or pushing, and I could honestly care less about how "wise" Judge Judy is.  I do care about whether I am a loving wife, good mother and I work at being more than just a "nice person."  

That act of will to love can be easy sometimes.  But, usually, I need to pare down my own exaggerated sense of self, and make a firm act of the will to love.  By paring down my "self", though, I don't neglect to take care of my physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  It can be a balancing act, balancing what I need with what my family needs.  We often need to balance family activities with outside obligations.  It becomes easier when you realize you can do a lot, just not all at the same time.   But each moment is precious, and can never return to be used again.  I don't think I can save time, but I can be frugal with what time I do have so tasks aren't relegated to the future to eat up more of those precious present moments.

Now, for accountability.  I'll let you all know right now, I do not feel accountable to anyone except God (of course!), my husband and our children.  If I don't post often, just know that I am being accountable to those to whom I've been entrusted.  I'll share when I can, both on this blog, and my personal one.  But, gosh, don't expect me to be writing every day.  I never have, and I really don't intend to begin now.

What I do hope is to share bits and pieces of my own adventure on this journey, to help you realize what a wonderful vocation we all have as wives and mothers, and encourage you on your own journey.Good prayers for your day!  Your Sister in the Trinity .... Yvonne

Short, Quirky Biography for Yvonne

Background ...  

I'm a Catholic woman, married over 30 years to the same man, a mom to 5 children here, and at least 6 in heaven.  I love to write, work Kakuro puzzles, sew, cook, read and discuss: philosophy, apologetics, and history.  I am drawn to natural medicine, home births, breastfeeding, and gentle parenting.  We are lifelong home educators.  We still have two of our children learning at home.   I think teaching teens is great fun!  I'm working on becoming fluent in Spanish, and will start French soon.    

I am a native Nevadan, and have lived in California, Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Peru, and now Canada!  I've visited many other places, and have experienced driving in winter white-out conditions, watched smoky skies from forest fires, gotten shook up with earthquakes, drenched in tropical storms, and thought our house was Dorothy's during Hurricane Ike.   I've attended Mass in huge cathedrals down to tiny missions.  They have been in Latin, English and Spanish, and variously presided over by priests, bishops, cardinals, and Pope John Paul II.   I haven't always been a faithful Catholic, but since returning "home" 23 years ago, I grow daily in understanding, practicing, and enlivening my faith.

Volunteering has been a huge part of our family's ethos, and will continue to be, as we find ways to be of service to those we meet.  We have had a lot of contact with La Leche League, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, 4-H, Knights of Columbus, and many, many other organizations.

I enjoy being frugal, but also know how to enjoy life!  Packing and moving is also big part of our life.  So far we've lived in over 20 different houses and addresses in our 30 years of marriage.   We've renovated more homes than I care to recall, though we always enjoy the end products!

Journeying toward sanctity is my ever present goal.  Whether I get there will only be revealed when this earthly journey is concluded.  I hope you'll join me on the journey, because together is how God wants us all to seek Him!

 

Where I have been, am now and might be going

Dear Sisters,

I’m Marion. I’ve been married to Dana for over 24 years and a mother to Christina who is 18, Catherine who is 15 and Charlene who is 11. I have taught the girls at home since Christina was in kindergarten. I’m at a very different place in my life now than I was when I started writing for the “little” yahoogroup that Yvonne and I started in 2000 and there are many people and events that make me know I am. Below, you will find a highlight of the ones that seem significant for you to know at this moment in time, but I suspect as time goes on, you will learn much more.

I was born in Torrance, California. My mother is Catholic; my father is not. Growing up, I attended church but not as frequently as I should have. Since I was born in 1966, my catechesis was a product of uncertainty in a post-Vatican II era and therefore, severely lacking.

I didn’t really begin to scratch the surface of understanding my faith until I was 16 years old and met Dana. Dana wasn’t Catholic. His faith formation had consisted of his grandmother taking him to a Baptist church occasionally or joining his girlfriend at her church.

I had been playing guitar at Mass and singing in the choir. Dana began attending church with me. He also started asking questions that, because of my own lack of formation, I was not equipped to answer. I had read something in the bulletin about a meeting where people could come and ask their questions about the Catholic faith. We decided to go. The meeting turned out to be the precursor to RCIA. To make a long story short, Dana was baptized into the Catholic Church at Easter in 1984. The classes I attended with Dana helped me be more knowledgeable about the Catholic faith, but having it in your head isn’t the same as having it in your heart.

Dana and I got married in Las Vegas in August1984. At that time we weren’t as familiar with Church teachings as we thought we were and so we were surprised to learn that our marriage wasn’t considered valid in the eyes of the Church. In 1985 we had a church wedding to sanctify the union but other than attending Mass on holidays, we stayed away from church until Christina was born in 1990.

I don’t think we made a conscious decision to stop going to church. In hindsight, I was hurt that the marriage I was so excited about was somehow less than perfect in the churches eyes. I didn’t understand and I was young and arrogant enough to think I could pick and choose regarding matters of faith. We had our church wedding but that was as far as I was going.

When Christina was born we decided to have her baptized. The Holy Spirit was working in spite of our weakness. Before we could have her baptized, we were required to attend a baptism preparation class. At the class we met a couple who became our friends and were instrumental in our return to the Church. God was bringing healing to the wounds I didn’t even know had existed.

Over the course of the next several years we experienced many major changes. We became more and more involved at our church. Soon our parish became the center of our lives. In 1993, the same year Catherine, our second daughter, was born; we shared our home with a family including 4 children, for almost a year while the father worked to secure a steady job. In 1994 I began a 2-year program to be certified by the Archdiocese as Director of Initiation and Liturgy. In 1995, Catherine was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I was finally beginning to see that God really is in charge of my life. I also came to a place where I could completely accept the teachings of the Church. The desire to pick and choose what worked for me was gone. I managed to all but finish the certification program between trips to the doctors and caring for Catherine. I began to homeschool Christina. I was offered a part time staff position as Liturgy Assistant at our parish. I worked with the Liturgy and Initiation Director in whatever needed to be done.

Inspired by the examples of Blessed Anna Maria Taigi and Blessed Elizabeth Canori Mora, I became a Tertiary in the Order of the Most Holy Trinity. I continue to explore the meaning of this commitment in my life.

In early 1997 I learned I was pregnant with Charlene. Two weeks later, Dana was informed that he was to be laid off from his job of 12 years. This would turn out to be another test of our faith. I spent most of the pregnancy sick or in bed. Dana looking for a job proved fruitless for what seemed like an eternity. One week before I gave birth to Charlene, Dana began a new job.

About a year later Dana’s new company offered to move us to Colorado in order for him to work on a new project. We moved in September of 1998. We searched, and finally, found a parish we could call home. It was a small parish, just getting started, with only about 350 families. W didn’t even have a building then!
In August of 1999, Dana’s work took the entire family to Japan for nearly 8 months. Japan was another challenge. It is very strange and difficult to be a minority. Christianity is less than 1% of the population of Japan. Nonetheless, we found a Catholic church there and made many friends.

Upon our return from Japan we found that our parish at home in Colorado had doubled in size. Since then, we have built, and moved into, a new church with about 2500 families. It still feels like home, just a bigger home. I have had many different roles at Our Lady of Loreto as I try to let God lead my ministries and actions. I am so thankful for a holy pastor and pastoral staff.

While the move to Colorado provided a better environment in which to raise children, it was difficult to leave our family, friends and beloved parish. I often felt as though I was being led into a desert. Living in Japan only deepened those feelings. Looking back now, I can see that He was pruning me into what HE wanted. He wanted me to be totally dependent on Him and Him alone. I know I haven’t attained that goal but perhaps I’m a bit closer than I was 20 years ago.

Colorado was good to us. We had an awesome parish, a great group of friends from dance, my parents were close and I learned that teenagers and young adults were pretty fun to work with. It also afforded a couple of opportunities to meet up with Yvonne when they traveled there to see family or one occasion to work on the book that continues to elude us.

Yvonne and I began working on The Little Way after my return from Japan. During the four years we’ve been writing, I’ve had two miscarriages and three surgeries. With the first surgery, I was in a wheelchair for 4 months and unable to walk into my kitchen. My daughter Christina, then 10 years old, managed to take over the majority of the food preparation for our household. The miscarriage I had in August of 2003 was probably the most difficult thing I had ever gone through. When I had my first ultrasound, it was so exciting to see the two little babies I was carrying. Two short weeks later, it was equally devastating to see the ultrasound clearly show that my babies had died. It took almost another year before I could even think of holding another baby. Even to this day, I still feel sadness when I see the babies of the two friends that were due about the same time. The lesson I learned through these events is that while I am a control freak, there are some things in our lives that our out of our control. I have learned to allow others to help me and to accept that help as a gift from God.

In 2006, after almost a year of unemployment, God relocated our family to Iowa. Dana was pretty excited about the move. His family is from Indiana, he has fond childhood memories of summers there and from his perspective, and we were just taking another step toward Indiana. I wasn’t as excited about the move but realized it was where the job was that God was offering him and we weren’t in a position to be picky.

It has taken me the better part of two years and some rather direct comments in spiritual direction to help me to embrace Iowa as my home. There are still things that I would rather were different here, but there are many things I have come to love. I don’t know what our future will hold here. I know my husband loves his job and it seems as secure as anything can be these days. Our oldest daughter, Christina, has graduated high school and found her dream job here. Catherine and Charlene are also finally starting to settle in. I think all of us know that where we live really isn’t up to us anyway. God’s got a plan; we just have to figure it out.

As far as hobbies, our family loves to dance. You might have already figured that out! I met my husband through square dancing and I still enjoy it. I have been very involved with my daughter’s dance team. In July of 2004 the team traveled to Ukraine to perform and play music for two international folk dance festivals. Dana and I started taking ballroom dance lessons that eventually have lead to Christina’s job. We all continue to square dance at least a couple of times a month and Dana and I teach round dancing one night a week.

When we aren’t on the dance floor, you might find me playing Everquest 2 or at a gym. I think I’ll leave the explanation of how that fits in my spiritual journey for a post some time. For now, I will suffice to say that it can be both a distraction and a blessing, and the scale often tips.

Well, there you have it, the short story of Marion Moreland. The pages that have been compiled into this Little Way, will probably tell you more about me than any introduction I could ever write. They have been written over about 8 years which means I have continued to grow and learn. They share with you my heart and my imperfections. My prayer for you is that you will learn to discover God in your vocation and through all the dignity and joy that comes from being a wife and mother He will transform your life.


Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion