Our Vocation

This is from one of my earlier posts to the email group...

Dear Sisters,
I would like to begin by sharing with you some advice that was given to me a long time ago and has had a profound effect on me in the years since.

We had recently moved to Colorado. When we moved, I had all these great ideas for how our lives would be ordered. I had all the plans made! I thought we’d have fewer distractions and we could really just get about the business of focusing our family life on God. I had this entire agenda worked out in my mind and even on paper, of how we would live. I wish I had saved that paper because it would have been a great lesson in humility.

When we arrived here, we struggled to find a parish that was going to be home. During what was supposed to be a two week visit, my parents had a roll over car accident that left my father with a broken neck. While he would fully recover, they lived with us for several years. Don’t misunderstand me, I love my parents and I know we made the right choices but needless to say, my perfect ordered life went out the window! It seemed every plan I had was thwarted in these areas and others.

And so, I decided to whine to my spiritual director. His words still bring me back to focusing on God.

Here they are as he wrote them:
“You have a nice goal about what would be good for your home and vocation. But as you know, what man proposes, God disposes. Part of your vocation is to put out fires and solve problems. My vocation is one of distractions. And so is yours. The one striving for holiness learns how to use the distractions for the greater honor and glory of God. The ones who want to be holy but do not want to work at it have a fantasy that their particular holiness will be free of hard work and sacrifice and disruption. The lives of saints are full of disruptions, obstacles and sorrows.

Soooo, it sounds like God has given you the perfect environment to become a saint; less than perfect household, below average parish and no time to pray. Saints long for situations like this, because they can see how God will change these situations through them and other people, endowed and imbued with the Holy Spirit. You have to carve out your spiritual life in your day and it may be that you have to due violence to the things and times that you like for it to get done!

But the Lord Jesus will bless you and help and visit you when you are most discouraged. Would you not like to have a visit from the Lord and be discouraged every once in a while or not to have a visit from him and never be down trodden?

Carry your cross and it will carry you to heaven along with your family and parents! This is what saints are made of. I think you already know this. And I have confidence that you can do this with the Grace of God.

God bless you in the Sacred Heart of JMJ
Fr. Mike

It’s important to make a distinction in the type of vocation we are speaking about. The dictionary has two different definitions. The first is in reference to a job. I’m not talking about that definition at all. A job is work that provides temporal goods. The second definition is “An inclination, as if in response to a summons, to undertake a certain kind of work, especially a religious career; a calling.” I really would even beg to differ with that definition because it seems to imply that only religious have vocations and that’s not true either. Our vocation is our response to God’s calling us to a particular state of life. It is what provides for our spiritual well being. My vocation is being a wife and mother as is most that will be reading this article. Sometimes I have other jobs, but they cannot change my primary responsibility to my vocation. Being the best wife and mother through a life devoted to God is my path to Heaven. It needs to be first and foremost in all that I do.

There were three important messages for me in Father Mike’s words. I’m going to use those words as a point to address some of the particulars about our vocations.

The first is that our vocation is one of distractions. This is so true! This is why I don’t believe we shouldn’t try to adhere to rigid schedules. It’s also in many regards the reason this little way came to be a reality in my life.

What we need to learn is that there are distractions that our out of our control and there are ones that are in our control. When you are sitting in your quiet place to pray and your child comes to you sick or in desperate need that is a distraction from prayer that is out of your control. When you overcommitted yourself to ministries that seem good on the surface, they are distractions within your control.

Our children sometimes have needs that will take us away from prayer but we need to return as quickly as we can. We will also talk later about how those distractions can even be turned into prayer.

As wives and mothers, any task or ministry we commit to should be considered and prayed about in view of how it affects our vocation. While I have little children at home, does it make my family holier if I spend 5 nights a week at church meetings? You need to discern this for your own family but I think the answer would almost always be no.

Since I mentioned the idea of children distracting us from prayer, I want to add one more thought on this topic. There is a difference between a child with a legitimate need for their mother and one that has not been trained to understand that Mommy needs time with God. Very few of us have children that have to be constantly attended to. Most of us just aren’t very good at saying, Mommy is going to go pray for awhile so please work on this task or leave me alone for 30 minutes unless it is an emergency. Not only does this help our children develop independent skills, it witnesses to them that Mommy needs God in her life.

The second comment from Father Mike that hit home for me was the comparison of distractions in the vocation of priesthood and motherhood. This goes back to the definition I gave you of vocation. Where would we be if the only vocations were that of priest and nun? I’ll tell you, we just wouldn’t be! Holy priests come from holy families and holy families come from holy priests. Every vocation has its distractions. It is so easy for us to feel like a second class citizen because that’s what the world tells us but we need to shut the blinders on the worlds view and realize that we are following a divine plan.

The final message for me was that I might have to give up what I want in order to carve out time in my day for a spiritual life. Sometimes we really just want to make excuses for not spending time with God when it is the very thing we need most. Other times, as I alluded to earlier, we are so over committed with seemingly good ministries that we don’t have time.

When I only had one child and she was a baby, it was easier for me to do more at church or in the community but as she grew and more have been added, I have watched many of the ministries I love be carved out of my life. It’s not to say that I might not return to them in a later season of life but, it is to say that my primary job right now is tending to the needs of my family. To start with, I began by eliminating the ones that I could not do with my family or took me away from home more than once a month. As I started to give up control of these things that I wanted to do, God was free to move more toward Him. Isn’t it ironic how we can be doing good deeds and still miss our vocation?

I want to close with a final thought about prayer and our vocation. When we don’t have time to pray, we have our priorities wrong. I don’t believe there are any exceptions to this rule. It as simple as saying God, I know you have a plan for me, but I can do this on my own and I don’t need or want to hear anything you have to say. God has not given us so much to do in our lives that we can’t pray. I don’t think that is the message any of us want to give to God.


Sisters in the Trinity,
Marion